Shoelaces
by midnightgamin
Summary: England teaches Italy how to tie his shoelaces. One-shot. My first Shounen ai.


Disclaimer: I don't own countries. Nope.

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England passed by North Italy who was bawling his eyes out. Sighing as he made his way towards the country Arthur cursed under his breath for being such a gentleman, even to the non-female species. He knelt down beside the brunet and took out his handkerchief as sacrifice.

"All right there mate?"

When Italy looked up to see who it was he expected Germany or maybe even Japan. Not England. So he cried even more and begged for his life. England twitched in annoyance though he did wonder why the nation had not retreated yet.

"Blimey, belt up you git. I am not going to hurt you." _Unless you chuck macaroni at me again_ , he added as an afterthought.

Feliciano whimpered.

"Ah, p-please do not hurt me Mr. England. I-I'll give you some a-pasta just please don't make me eat charcoals!"

The blond growled causing Italy to cower more.

"They are scones you wanker! And didn't I tell you that I wasn't going to hurt you or are you deaf as well?!"

"Ahhhhh! Please don't hit me!"

Arthur card his hand in his hair. _Well, this isn't working_. He forced himself to be calm and plastered his ambassador smile.

"Forgive me, Italy. That was very uncouth of me for yelling at you." England said his voice now velvety and suave in addition to his accent.

Italy perked up. He could have sworn England sounded just like one of his people when openly flirting.

"Ve~ I-it's okay Mr. England." he sniffed.

"Now, tell me. Why are you crying?" _Forever crying over every little thing_ his mind supplied, "And where is Germany? Japan? Why aren't they with you?"

The pasta loving wimp burst into tears again. England stopped himself from strangling North Italy and cause World War III. Besides, he rather liked visiting Venice's grandeur.

"Doitsu had to go to a meeting with his country leaders and…and N-nihon has to attend an Asian conference. H-he told me it was very important and…and I can't tie my shoelaces ve!" he cried and displayed his military boots.

England rubbed his temples to ease the impending headache and from throttling this muppet. He really pitied Germany for putting up with this every bleeding fucking day. Perhaps he should knock out the cheese eating surrender monkey before the other could open his mouth in the next world meeting and save everyone from the Kraut's "nagging".

He took another deep calming breath.

"May I ask why are you wearing boots with laces if you do not know how to tie them?"

"Doitsu said that if I could tie a rope I could tie shoelaces ve." he sniffed and used England's handkerchief to wipe his tears.

"And did that gormless wanker taught you how?" _How could have this twit be Rome's heir and descendant? Best not knowing though._

"Um, he did but I didn't understand it." was his meek reply.

Piercing emerald eyes stared at him. Italy gulped and fidgeted. He was incredibly flustered by England's inscrutable gaze. He was about to raise his white flag and make a run for the canal when the blond spoke:

"Do you know how the two great trees got tangled up?"

Ve?

"…n-no?"

"Well? I don't have all day! Do you want to hear it?"

His face had gone red at England's close proximity. _How did he move so fast and without a sound? Was he a ninja like Nihon?_ Feliciano had not even noticed when he was moved to sit on England's lap but he dared not anger the once great empire further.

"Ve~ alright."

England smiled. He liked telling stories, especially to children. They are God's gift and the future of every nation. He remembered back when Alfred and Matthew were still small and liked to sit on his lap (if only Feliciano would stop squirming) while he weaved his seafaring adventures with the aid of his magic. Those were good times. Arthur quashed down the gulley of memories as he pulled up Italy's right leg effectively stilling the male's movements and where he could see the laces from his position.

"There once existed a powerful island nation who had two great trees. Those trees once held the light of the earth. It was said that the moon and the sun were born its fruits."

He took hold of Italy's hands and made his fingers latch on the aglets.

"Now, those trees stood parallel to each other. Their names were Telperion and Laurelin. For many years Telperion and Laurelin had known each other. They yearned to wrap each other in a tight hug but they could not because they were too far apart. So what did they do?"

"That's a-so sad! What did they do?" asked Feliciano whose curiosity outweighed his fear and early embarrassment.

England chuckled internally. He could not believe how much like a kid Italy was. _How did he manage to retain this?_ he wondered. Well, one word could sum it up. Germany.

"They inched their trunks together, bending over their leafy top heads in a bow until their sides brushed. The nation's citizens were amazed at what they saw, for now the trees crisscrossed against each other. Telperion and Laurelin could now speak to each other closely but they were not embracing are they?"

"No, they aren't!" his companion replied attention trained on the laces.

"And so, Telperion decided it would try to slide a branch under Laurelin to lighten the other tree's mood. The trees then tried to curl as tightly as they could."

"Yay! So a-they're embracing now _sì_?"

"But-" Arthur held out a hand. He really loved children but North Italy was a grown nation for heaven's sake.

" _Però_?" Italy was at the edge of his seat, or in this case, Arthur.

England rolled his emerald eyes, " _But_ ," he emphasized the word, "-once they let go of their branches they would not hold. Laurelin suggested they fold their branches, so they crossed branches once more. This time Laurelin circled his branch around Telperion. And then…"

"And then?"

"Then they got tangled up in their embrace!" England said with a flourish. The laces were now tied neatly and securely.

Italy finally broke into a smile and his eyes slid the tiniest bit open. England caught sight of the ember orbs but ignored his gnawing curiosity. It would be rude of him to ask Italy to open his eyes. The Italian then realized how he was settled quite contently on England's warm embrace. He thought he saw the Brit's slightly red cheeks and it certainly was not from the heat.

"Yay! At last they're holding each other, ve~. But England, how are they going to make pasta if they're hugging so tightly?" he said with a slightly sly smile that would not give him away.

 _Pasta?_ Arthur thought. "Er, ah, well…if some dodgy fellow were to pull at their branches they would get untangled."

"Oh! Look my shoelaces are tied! _Grazie_ England!"

Before he could berate Italy for being such a twat the brunet glomped him.

"Getoff me!"

"Ve~!"

Nobody heard the distinct click of a camera. Tsundere, thought Japan with a blank look on his face. He vanished out of sight before England could see him. It was time to head back to his lands and to present his new doujinshi ideas.

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A/N: Haha. I have no idea why I wrote this. LotR anyone? Well, I think I got it right (somehow). Forgive me if I don't. I always imagined England to be the "helpful" type of gentlemen and not just toward elderly folks and ladies. As for the Brit slang…eh, I'll just pretend nothing happened there. And yes, I am aboard this ship and I will gun down opposing ships if I have to. Not really.

Please let there be an actual England x Italy doujinshi somewhere out there!

-midnightgamin


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